Currently

I figured it was time to hit the high points of what I am currently up to these days!

Binge Watching: All the new Fall shows! 

Craving: A salted caramel white mocha (with half the syrup and skim milk ;))! There is nothing better! 

Lunching: Considering I am trying to finally drop that last bit of weight I gained when I was pregnant and have yet to lose my lunches are pretty boring. 2 hard boiled eggs, carrots, 1 bell pepper, and some sort of protein (lunch meat, or turkey sausage). 

Doing: As many Fall activities as I can with the girls! And a lot of laundry!  :)

Obsessing: About how I am going to decorate for Christmas! Don't get me wrong, I am a lover of all things fall, but I have a fireplace mantel I can decorate this year and a perfect place for a Christmas tree. I am excited.

Loving: The age of my girls right now! They are really starting to show their little personalities and although they are a ton of work(obviously), they are super sweet.

Reading: Ungluded by Lysa TerKeurst! STILL.

Wanting: a whole new wardrobe. Fall is my time of the year where I get suckered into buying things that I probably shouldn't. I can usually be pretty rational about my purchases until September 1st. Then I want it all and have a hard time saying no. I know no clue why that is, but I just can't help it!

Pinning: Ideas for our next house. Darn it, I just can't stop. I see us moving again in the year 2016. ( Don't tell my mom ;))

Dreaming: Of all the fun holiday events in the upcoming months!

Writing: About what we are currently doing and what we are up to! I want to do another day in the life post soon since our schedule is pretty set these days and a lot different than it use to be!
Crafting: I did a few craft projects for Fall decor around the house and I am sure it will be even more excessive come December.
Listening: To Jeremy Camp, Carrie Underwood, and Phillip Phillips. Great mix, huh?

Wearing: jean or leggings. Tunics, tshirts, or plaids. boots, booties, or flats #basic

Needing: To slow down and enjoy life! I can get pretty caught up in the minimizing the clutter around the house and before I know it my nights are gone. I need to enjoy some time with my girls in the evenings! This time of year we get busy busy! I know it is exhausting for me, so I can't imagine what it does to my girls! I need to say no a few times this season and enjoy down time with my family of four.

Planning: Zetta Mae's THIRD birthday party!..I am still doing this! 

Trying: To eat better and care about others more!

Currently

Currently –

Binge Watching: Parenthood. Why did it take me so long?!
Craving: A glass of white wine with a splash of grapefruit sparking water..TRY IT
Lunching: Sweet potatoes or turkey, cheese, and spinach in a whole wheat tortilla..boring work lunch :)
Doing: Anything and everything to get through life :)
Obsessing: About finding the perfect decor without breaking the bank.
Loving: The money I am making with ItWorks! and kicking myself for not joining sooner.
Reading: Ungluded by Lysa TerKeurst!
Wanting: This. And this. And these. Oh, and this would be nice, too. Sigh, I could go on and on.
Pinning: Ideas for our current house. I want to finish a house before we move for once!
Dreaming: About our annual Sam A. Baker camping trip!!
Writing: About finishing the house. Also, catching up on everything I missed in the past year.
Crafting: Pinteresting every possible project to finish at least one room of my house. Hall bathroom is my first project! I want to finish every detail by the end of the month. Next up is our patio! I want to enjoy our awesome backyard this fall!
Listening: To Jeremy Camp, Carrie Underwood, and Phillip Phillips. Great mix, huh?
Wearing: leggings and tunics on the daily, yo.
Needing: New everything! Jeans, tops, etc. This is the first fall I haven't been pregnant or nursing in 4 years. Mama needs some new clothes!
Planning: Zetta Mae's THIRD birthday party!
Trying: To workout consistently...last week I did well. Hope I can keep it up this week!

Get to know me better!

Name/Occupation/Age/Stats
Erin! Easy..you can't get it wrong! I turned 26 this year and still can't believe I have two babies and have almost been married 5 years! 5'7", brown eyes, and brown hair. I haven't colored my hair in at least 3 years, but now that I am going to take a little break from being pregnant, my hair needs a change! I am the office manager at Cultural Exchange Network, a non-profit that is a J-1 visa sponsor along with many other things by day, and a mama by night. It's always a challenge being a working mom. Shuffling the mom guilt and such, but my girls LOVE their daycare, so that always makes dropping them off a lot easier.

Family Info.
Husband, life partner, my rock, Pete (32), Daughters Zetta (2.5 years), and Nora (15 months). My blog is named a Beautiful Mess for a reason. How can you have two girls 16 months apart and things not be a mess!? I would not have it any other way, though. Pete always keeps me on my toes. He is a sucker for a good deal and I never know what he is going to come home with. It could be 12 BBQ grills, 30 door knobs, or cute clothes for the girls. He is my rock and brings me up when I am at my lowest and has a better outlook on life than anyone I have ever met. Zetta is shy at first, but once she knows you, you are her best friend. She doesn't stop talking from the moment she wakes to the moment she goes to sleep. She is a busy body and the perfect mix between a girly girl and a little adventurer! Nora is always smiling, but let's you know if things aren't going her way!! Her little face can make anyone's day better! These three individuals mean EVERYTHING to me. I thank my lucky stars God has been so good to our family.

Favorite Hobbies
Blogging, running, watch football (say whatttt?..I actually do not know much about the sport, but love how much my husband loves it), quality family time, quiet mornings spent with coffee, volunteering, decorating, being outside, reading, and girl's nights.

Favorite Family Fun Activities
Anything outdoors, visits to the Farmer's Market, walking the girls to the park- slides/ swings/ feeding the ducks, Orange Monkey(of course), swimming at Eesie and Poppies, playing in the garden at PaPa and GaGa's house, camping at Sam A. Baker. The memories I have from growing up and doing so many things as a family are absolutely priceless to me. I hope to give my kids the same experience and memories that I had as a child.

Mommy Uniform/Go-To Outfit.
My work has a very casual dress code. We can pretty much wear anything we want with the exception of blue jeans (except on Friday's). Most of the time I wear colored jeans with a V-neck cotton shirt, TOMS or sandals, and my same few bracelets and watch with my Stella and Dot stud earrings. In the summer I do wear more sun dresses and such, but probably not more than once or twice a week. I tried to venture out, but that is always what I catch myself falling back to. If I am not at work I wear something very similar, or I will be in workout attire. It is easy and these days girls can pull it off even if they don't work out! ha!

Biggest Pet Peeves.
Dishes left in the sink, going to bed with a messy house, people who leave tables absolutely trashed when they leave a restaurant.

Typical Day.
We are typically late risers and wake between 7-8 am (or later!). I usually get up early enough to get myself ready before the girls wake up (between 6-7 am unless I go to the gym, then I get up about 5-5:30am). On weekdays, I go get the girls when I hear them both awake and talking, change diapers and get them dressed. I pack their bags for school, and get them a small to go container of cereal because they eat breakfast once they get to daycare. If it is the weekend, we hangout in our pj's until we have somewhere to be, and I cook pancakes, eggs, bacon, etc. We head out the door for school between 7:50-8 am and Pete is usually leaving for work around that time also.  I drop the girls off and head back home. I pack my lunch, tidy the house, and get to work by 9am. I get off work at 5pm and head to get the girls and head home. Pete is usually pulling in right behind us. I cook dinner with the girls help, and Pete hops on the computer to finish a few things as we talk about our day (the office is right off the kitchen). After dinner we do some type of family activity (bike ride, walk around the neighborhood, inside play, etc.) and then head in and take a bath and settle down with an evening snack. I put Nora to bed between 8-9 pm and Zetta goes to bed between 9-10 pm. They are generally in really good moods in the evening, so we don't press bedtime until they act tired. I would rather play longer than get frustrated with them not going to sleep and laying down in their bed shushing them for an hour. Pete and I will watch one of our shows, and then I typically fall asleep on the couch. I wake and transfer to bed around midnight and Pete will be to bed around 1 am. I am really trying to go to bed instead of falling asleep on the couch, but I haven't mastered it quite yet! ha!

Favorite Go-To Beauty Products 
I am pretty simple, but I use the same things everyday. Naked Eye Palette 3, Dr. Jart BB cream, Cover girl concealer, any cheap powder, Naked Flushed 3in1 palette, and this mascara. If I use any lip color, it is usually a tinted gloss or baby lips chap stick. I don't really wear any perfumes or lotions on a regular basis.

Favorite Baby Gadgets
NoseFrieda (best thing ever), anything Aden+Anais, swaddlers blankets with velco when they are really small, TommieTippee sippy cups, and all things Britax. I haven't found one Britax item I didn't like!

Favorite Music/Band/Singers
I really don't have a favorite. If I am in the car alone, I will choose country, or a CD that I have that is a mix of Jack Johnson, Philip Phillips, Dave Matthews, The Fray, etc. But I like it all. I'm always down for Beyonce, Rihanna, Justin Timberlake, The Beatles, etc. The only thing I prefer not to listen to is hardcore rap or screamo. Although, my very best guy friend in high school was really into screamo, so I listened to more of it then than I ever wanted to in my whole life!

Top 10 Movies
If you know me, I really do not know actors or movies, really. Let me give you a little story to tell you how little I am interested in movies/actors, instead. I can't even remember what movie it was, but Pete and I watched the whole movie and I was watching the credits and it has Ben Affleck and George Clooney in it. I looked at him and was like oh, which one was which again? Pete just looked at me, stunned that I watched a whole movie and didn't know which character was Ben Affleck and which one was George Clooney. Oops. 

Favorite Food to make
White Chicken Chili, Taco Ring, Sweet potato fries, Turkey burgers, my mom's pumpkin bread, any breakfast casserole.

Top Reads
Anything Emily Griffin (the Something Borrowed series in particular), any Jodi Picoult ( I have read Plain Truth, The Pact, My Sister's Keeper, House Rules, and Nineteen Minutes), Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst, The Help.

Other Q&A
What did you want to be when you grew up: a mom and a designer/event planner
Beauty secret: Clarisonic
Secret Talent: I don't know if it is a talent, but I have an eye for catching mistakes in movies and TV shows. Different shirts in the same scene, back drop changes, etc. 

This was fun! I hope you learned something new about me! Have a great day!

Life lately

I've never really been a consist blogger. I do really well for a few months and then just stop making time for it. It is something that I really do enjoy. I love reading other people's blogs (all types: mom blogs, nutrition, fitness, crafting, etc.) and I like looking back on what I actually do have on mine as well. I don't keep a personal journal so this kind of acts as that sometimes. Who knows if I will ever do anything with these posts, but it is therapeutic for me to type it out at the time, so I guess that counts for something. Once again, a lot has changed in our lives! I am going to type everything out in bullets because that is the easiest way for my brain to sort everything I want to type out.

-- We moved to a new house a the beginning of February and I absolutely adore this new house. I love it, and really think we will stay here for a while. It marks off many of my "must-have's", but lacks a few things. They are little things, and I don't really feel like are necessary at this point in my life anyway. I am so content there. It finally feels like a home to me and not just another house.

--Nora got tubes right after we moved into the new house (we were actually still staying at my parents at the time). She started sleeping through the night since we moved. I think it is a combination of her crib not being in our room where if she wakes she see's me and wants me and that she finally doesn't have fluid on her ears for the first time since she was 3 months old. She turned one March 24th, started walking at 11 months, just like her sister! She is still nursing 3x a day (morning, when I get home from work, and bedtime). I really don't know how to transition her off of those feedings without going cold turkey. Half of the reason is because I am lazy, and do NOT want to be engorged or pump, but I also enjoy our little time together. She's my girl! I'm sure it will happen when we are both ready...

--Zetta is really starting to take a liking to school now that she only has a month left! :) Her vocabulary surprises me every single day. Some of my favorite phrases are "Oh, sure, I would love too.", "I love you so much", If she asks us something and we say no, she always, always says "Oh, well I thought you wanted too" or "well I thought you wanted some" until we finally take whatever she is trying to give us, "Oh, sure", "I forgot about that" and many more I cannot think of right now. She still does not really like any meat. She prefers yogurt, cheese, black beans, ANY fruit, green beans, corn on the cob. She will eat ham or bacon, but that is about it.
She did have a little accident swinging right when we moved into our house and they are almost positive she had a stress fracture. She didn't walk on it for two weeks. We ended up getting two X-rays and seeing a orthopedist, but they didn't want to expose her to more radiation just to tell us it was indeed a fracture. I am just happy that she is better. It was so so sad to see her limping and crawling around.

--I got a new job! I am now the office manager of Cultural Exchange Network! It was a huge change going from a job that was EXTREMELY flexible with hours to working 9-5 everyday. I thrive more off of a routine, so it is going better that I thought, for me and the girls. They will be starting a little daycare in June, so then I think we will all have our schedule and know what we are doing everyday. I will always be grateful for my job at Orange Monkey and the flexibility it allowed while my girls were still in there baby stages, but I really feel like this is where we are suppose to be. I am so excited to see how it all turns out, but I can finally see over the mountain that we have been climbing for the past year. To be totally honest, last year was a hard, hard year for me personally. I was a sleep deprived mom of two kids under two, trying to work a full time job without full time childcare, move houses, and who knows what else. Like I said I loved my job, but I am not cut out for management of a small company with a bunch of high school employees. Maybe when my kids are a little older, but right now I couldn't commit the time and effort it took to get the job done, so that was extremely stressful for me. I just always felt like I was letting someone down. If it wasn't my work, it was my husband, kids, family, or friends. I was just trying to juggle so much and it finally broke me. I am excited to be working a 9-5 where I can mentally check out at 5 pm and only worry about taking care of my family until I go back to work in the morning. Some people can leave work at work, but I am not one of those people. I really cared (and still do) for the family I worked for at Orange Monkey, so I just wanted to always do my best for them and really treated it as if it were my business, and I just couldn't get it off my mind when I knew I was suppose to be focusing on my children. Anyways, that was really deep, and all to say that I cannot say enough how relieved I feel everyday when I leave work. It was a much needed change for me (and my sanity)!

--Pete is staying busy as usual! He currently owns 7 properties (2 for sale, 4 rentals, and our house), and the biggest news is that he recently purchased Orange Monkey! HA! After ready my section above I am sure you are rolling your eyes and thinking he is crazy! But, in all honesty, I am excited. That place has so much potential and it just needs someone to run it (without getting a paycheck), and someone who knows more about running a business and has true business schooling. He will be taking over everything because I do not have the time at all. I get excited when I envision the future and we stop by on a Saturday and the girls run and play. Zetta loves it there, and I would have hated to see it close. Cape needs kids entertainment, so I hope that we can provide something that encourages family fun, for us, and our community!
I could not survived without him this past year. He stepped up when I couldn't do things, and never once said a bad word or lost his patience. He has SO MUCH on his plate, but can always stay cool, calm, and collected. I admire that trait more than anything! He is the best dad to the girls, helps with baths, dishes, dinner, does all our laundry, goes to the store, and so many other things that I haven't mentioned. I am so blessed that God chose Pete to be my husband. We are polar opposites, but that is why we work, I guess. He keeps me grounded, sets me straight when I loose focus on what's really important (ie- my family, not the dishes, messy floors, voice mails, or the other 100x that I struggle looking past). He deserves a huge gold star and more.

I think that is about all that is going on in our lives! Who knows when I'll post again, but it's always fun to check in even if it is only every 6 months!

Currently{volume1}

thinking | that even when things feel so hard, time passes quickly and the sun comes out and you forget those hard times so easily. Zetta has started school and I knew there would be a transition time of sickness, but it has effected all of us! We have all been under the weather, which brings cranky days and sleepless nights. But this past Sunday during church I felt such a feeling of peace come over me, and I realized that it wasn't all so bad. I'm blessed to have a family who needs me, two little babies and a husband who looks  to me for so much love and comfort. It's a good feeling to be needed, even when at times, it can be very overwhelming.

| Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong | Donna Ball 

listening to | when I am running I am listening to a lot of Usher and 90's pop radio :) But, on a normal day I have found myself turning off the TV and turning on my contemporary christian station on pandora. It just calms my mind and helps me find the good in the midst of all the hard times. 

watching | HGTV Flipping the Block, Big Brother (thank you NFL for starting so that DirectTV and channel 12 would come to an agreement. :), and Bachelor in Paradise (which I will not be watching again..not really a fan). I am excited for all the Fall shows to start back up this month!  

loving | fall, of course. I love everything about it. The weather, leaves changing, the crisp air, windows open, jeans, sweatshirts, latte's, bonfire's, football, and the list could go on and on!! 

The internal roller coaster of a working mama

Pete and I probably have the same conversation once a month. Any other working mama of small kids knows how it goes.. "I hate work, I wish I could just stay home with the kids all day"! Then the next sentence is how much I love my job and I need the adult interaction and staying home is not for me.
So, yesterday was my day off since I work Saturday's, and I really just thought all day about how grateful I am for my job and what it is teaching me, but also, more importantly what it is teaching my children. Zetta is at an age where she understand where I am going and such. She knows my work shirt, and when she has to go to work with me she throws her arms in the air and lets out a big "yahoo" before we even make the turn into the mall parking lot. I had to run into work yesterday morning before we opened because I needed to exchange money to get them smaller change before the day started. Which means we all have to load up, go to the bank(where she also knows that they have suckers), and unload at my work so I could take the money inside. I know I work at a kids entertainment center, so it is obviously a fun place for her to go, but she just kept saying, "mommy's work, yahoo" all morning. It just changed my whole attitude. I need to be grateful that we got to choose when she started any type of outside preschool or daycare. We have family around that takes time out of their lives to come watch my girls and wants to be an influence in their life. I need to be grateful that I am teaching my children that Pete and I go to work so that we can provide for our family. I feel like working moms get a bad wrap sometimes because "someone else is raising our children". I am extremely thankful for the job that I have and the flexibility that I have when we are in a bind, or the fact that I can bring Nora to work and wear her around while I do my job. Not many places allow things like that and it really is a perfect fit for our family. Yes, the job has a few negatives, but what job doesn't? After yesterday, and having to run in on my day off, usually that changes my attitude for the whole day. I get aggravated and let it affect the whole day. But yesterday, I didn't. I usually get stressed out on my day off and run around like a crazy person trying to clean my house, go to the grocery, cook a few meals for the week, laundry, etc. But yesterday, I just set all of those jobs aside and spent the whole day focusing on my girls. We went to the library, lunch, they both took amazing naps and I sat on the couch and watch stupid reality TV the whole time, then we drove down to Sikeston and visited with a few friends. I had the best day. It was like I hit the reset button. I am okay that I have to go to work today, because I know I am doing what is best for ME and MY FAMILY and that is what matters most. I just want to encourage all those working mama's out there that struggle with the same internal battle of guilt. It is okay that you are working. It is okay that your kids are going to a childcare facility. They are learning and playing with other kids and that is just helping them learn to share and be independent people. It is okay that sometimes you eat pizza for dinner and have dirt on the floor. Because you are teaching your children that working is a good thing, and you are doing your best to provide the best life for your family. Don't ever let someone tell you different. Mom wars can get pretty ugly these days but if you focus on your family and whats best for you, that is all that matters.

I know that got a little deep at points but I needed to let it out. For myself, and any other mom that struggles with going to work. I feel like I am finally at a place emotionally that I am okay. I know I am doing whats right, and I need to cling to that when others try to put me down. 
Have an awesome day! We are going to cheer on the Redhawks tonight and kick off the start of college football! WoooHoo! The best time of the year!

Oh, blogging

Well, I am 4.5 months in as a mother of two and I just now feel like I have my head on straight. Man, the adjustment to two kids for us was extremely hard! Maybe it was because when we had Zetta our life really didn't change that much! She was an extremely easy baby from the start! Slept great, ate great, and we still went and did everything we would normally do, we just brought her along! Restaurants, stores, etc. She was just easy! With two, that is just not really possible. Plus, Pete and I were spoiled and still both got quite a bit of alone time, separate and together. With two, both of us are busy, the whole entire day, and that was a huge change! But, at 4 months, I think we both kind of got it figured out and we are doing much better! I think we will wait a little bit long before we have another one though! Ha! I officially went back to work after 5 weeks, but I never really took a full maternity leave, it just wasn't worth teaching someone else how to do parts of my job for such a short time. I still did all the billing, payroll, scheduling, etc, but I just didn't physically go into work. As far as childcare goes, I have the best boss ever, and he lets me bring Nora to work with me right now. So, I bring Nora with me on Monday's and Tuesday's, I am off on Wednesday's, my mom watches the girls on Thursday, my mother in law does Friday's, and Pete does Saturday's! Then for Zetta, my good friend Erin watches her Monday's, Pete is a champ and takes her to work with him on Tuesday's, then she is the same as Nora the rest of the week. Whew!!! It get's pretty crazy when someone is out of town, or has other obligations, but we are super thankful and lucky that we have not had to send the girls to childcare yet!! I am working on Nora's birth story so that will be coming soon! Stay tuned, now that I have my act together, I should be posting more often! Hopefully!!