Life lately

I've never really been a consist blogger. I do really well for a few months and then just stop making time for it. It is something that I really do enjoy. I love reading other people's blogs (all types: mom blogs, nutrition, fitness, crafting, etc.) and I like looking back on what I actually do have on mine as well. I don't keep a personal journal so this kind of acts as that sometimes. Who knows if I will ever do anything with these posts, but it is therapeutic for me to type it out at the time, so I guess that counts for something. Once again, a lot has changed in our lives! I am going to type everything out in bullets because that is the easiest way for my brain to sort everything I want to type out.

-- We moved to a new house a the beginning of February and I absolutely adore this new house. I love it, and really think we will stay here for a while. It marks off many of my "must-have's", but lacks a few things. They are little things, and I don't really feel like are necessary at this point in my life anyway. I am so content there. It finally feels like a home to me and not just another house.

--Nora got tubes right after we moved into the new house (we were actually still staying at my parents at the time). She started sleeping through the night since we moved. I think it is a combination of her crib not being in our room where if she wakes she see's me and wants me and that she finally doesn't have fluid on her ears for the first time since she was 3 months old. She turned one March 24th, started walking at 11 months, just like her sister! She is still nursing 3x a day (morning, when I get home from work, and bedtime). I really don't know how to transition her off of those feedings without going cold turkey. Half of the reason is because I am lazy, and do NOT want to be engorged or pump, but I also enjoy our little time together. She's my girl! I'm sure it will happen when we are both ready...

--Zetta is really starting to take a liking to school now that she only has a month left! :) Her vocabulary surprises me every single day. Some of my favorite phrases are "Oh, sure, I would love too.", "I love you so much", If she asks us something and we say no, she always, always says "Oh, well I thought you wanted too" or "well I thought you wanted some" until we finally take whatever she is trying to give us, "Oh, sure", "I forgot about that" and many more I cannot think of right now. She still does not really like any meat. She prefers yogurt, cheese, black beans, ANY fruit, green beans, corn on the cob. She will eat ham or bacon, but that is about it.
She did have a little accident swinging right when we moved into our house and they are almost positive she had a stress fracture. She didn't walk on it for two weeks. We ended up getting two X-rays and seeing a orthopedist, but they didn't want to expose her to more radiation just to tell us it was indeed a fracture. I am just happy that she is better. It was so so sad to see her limping and crawling around.

--I got a new job! I am now the office manager of Cultural Exchange Network! It was a huge change going from a job that was EXTREMELY flexible with hours to working 9-5 everyday. I thrive more off of a routine, so it is going better that I thought, for me and the girls. They will be starting a little daycare in June, so then I think we will all have our schedule and know what we are doing everyday. I will always be grateful for my job at Orange Monkey and the flexibility it allowed while my girls were still in there baby stages, but I really feel like this is where we are suppose to be. I am so excited to see how it all turns out, but I can finally see over the mountain that we have been climbing for the past year. To be totally honest, last year was a hard, hard year for me personally. I was a sleep deprived mom of two kids under two, trying to work a full time job without full time childcare, move houses, and who knows what else. Like I said I loved my job, but I am not cut out for management of a small company with a bunch of high school employees. Maybe when my kids are a little older, but right now I couldn't commit the time and effort it took to get the job done, so that was extremely stressful for me. I just always felt like I was letting someone down. If it wasn't my work, it was my husband, kids, family, or friends. I was just trying to juggle so much and it finally broke me. I am excited to be working a 9-5 where I can mentally check out at 5 pm and only worry about taking care of my family until I go back to work in the morning. Some people can leave work at work, but I am not one of those people. I really cared (and still do) for the family I worked for at Orange Monkey, so I just wanted to always do my best for them and really treated it as if it were my business, and I just couldn't get it off my mind when I knew I was suppose to be focusing on my children. Anyways, that was really deep, and all to say that I cannot say enough how relieved I feel everyday when I leave work. It was a much needed change for me (and my sanity)!

--Pete is staying busy as usual! He currently owns 7 properties (2 for sale, 4 rentals, and our house), and the biggest news is that he recently purchased Orange Monkey! HA! After ready my section above I am sure you are rolling your eyes and thinking he is crazy! But, in all honesty, I am excited. That place has so much potential and it just needs someone to run it (without getting a paycheck), and someone who knows more about running a business and has true business schooling. He will be taking over everything because I do not have the time at all. I get excited when I envision the future and we stop by on a Saturday and the girls run and play. Zetta loves it there, and I would have hated to see it close. Cape needs kids entertainment, so I hope that we can provide something that encourages family fun, for us, and our community!
I could not survived without him this past year. He stepped up when I couldn't do things, and never once said a bad word or lost his patience. He has SO MUCH on his plate, but can always stay cool, calm, and collected. I admire that trait more than anything! He is the best dad to the girls, helps with baths, dishes, dinner, does all our laundry, goes to the store, and so many other things that I haven't mentioned. I am so blessed that God chose Pete to be my husband. We are polar opposites, but that is why we work, I guess. He keeps me grounded, sets me straight when I loose focus on what's really important (ie- my family, not the dishes, messy floors, voice mails, or the other 100x that I struggle looking past). He deserves a huge gold star and more.

I think that is about all that is going on in our lives! Who knows when I'll post again, but it's always fun to check in even if it is only every 6 months!

The internal roller coaster of a working mama

Pete and I probably have the same conversation once a month. Any other working mama of small kids knows how it goes.. "I hate work, I wish I could just stay home with the kids all day"! Then the next sentence is how much I love my job and I need the adult interaction and staying home is not for me.
So, yesterday was my day off since I work Saturday's, and I really just thought all day about how grateful I am for my job and what it is teaching me, but also, more importantly what it is teaching my children. Zetta is at an age where she understand where I am going and such. She knows my work shirt, and when she has to go to work with me she throws her arms in the air and lets out a big "yahoo" before we even make the turn into the mall parking lot. I had to run into work yesterday morning before we opened because I needed to exchange money to get them smaller change before the day started. Which means we all have to load up, go to the bank(where she also knows that they have suckers), and unload at my work so I could take the money inside. I know I work at a kids entertainment center, so it is obviously a fun place for her to go, but she just kept saying, "mommy's work, yahoo" all morning. It just changed my whole attitude. I need to be grateful that we got to choose when she started any type of outside preschool or daycare. We have family around that takes time out of their lives to come watch my girls and wants to be an influence in their life. I need to be grateful that I am teaching my children that Pete and I go to work so that we can provide for our family. I feel like working moms get a bad wrap sometimes because "someone else is raising our children". I am extremely thankful for the job that I have and the flexibility that I have when we are in a bind, or the fact that I can bring Nora to work and wear her around while I do my job. Not many places allow things like that and it really is a perfect fit for our family. Yes, the job has a few negatives, but what job doesn't? After yesterday, and having to run in on my day off, usually that changes my attitude for the whole day. I get aggravated and let it affect the whole day. But yesterday, I didn't. I usually get stressed out on my day off and run around like a crazy person trying to clean my house, go to the grocery, cook a few meals for the week, laundry, etc. But yesterday, I just set all of those jobs aside and spent the whole day focusing on my girls. We went to the library, lunch, they both took amazing naps and I sat on the couch and watch stupid reality TV the whole time, then we drove down to Sikeston and visited with a few friends. I had the best day. It was like I hit the reset button. I am okay that I have to go to work today, because I know I am doing what is best for ME and MY FAMILY and that is what matters most. I just want to encourage all those working mama's out there that struggle with the same internal battle of guilt. It is okay that you are working. It is okay that your kids are going to a childcare facility. They are learning and playing with other kids and that is just helping them learn to share and be independent people. It is okay that sometimes you eat pizza for dinner and have dirt on the floor. Because you are teaching your children that working is a good thing, and you are doing your best to provide the best life for your family. Don't ever let someone tell you different. Mom wars can get pretty ugly these days but if you focus on your family and whats best for you, that is all that matters.

I know that got a little deep at points but I needed to let it out. For myself, and any other mom that struggles with going to work. I feel like I am finally at a place emotionally that I am okay. I know I am doing whats right, and I need to cling to that when others try to put me down. 
Have an awesome day! We are going to cheer on the Redhawks tonight and kick off the start of college football! WoooHoo! The best time of the year!

Oh, blogging

Well, I am 4.5 months in as a mother of two and I just now feel like I have my head on straight. Man, the adjustment to two kids for us was extremely hard! Maybe it was because when we had Zetta our life really didn't change that much! She was an extremely easy baby from the start! Slept great, ate great, and we still went and did everything we would normally do, we just brought her along! Restaurants, stores, etc. She was just easy! With two, that is just not really possible. Plus, Pete and I were spoiled and still both got quite a bit of alone time, separate and together. With two, both of us are busy, the whole entire day, and that was a huge change! But, at 4 months, I think we both kind of got it figured out and we are doing much better! I think we will wait a little bit long before we have another one though! Ha! I officially went back to work after 5 weeks, but I never really took a full maternity leave, it just wasn't worth teaching someone else how to do parts of my job for such a short time. I still did all the billing, payroll, scheduling, etc, but I just didn't physically go into work. As far as childcare goes, I have the best boss ever, and he lets me bring Nora to work with me right now. So, I bring Nora with me on Monday's and Tuesday's, I am off on Wednesday's, my mom watches the girls on Thursday, my mother in law does Friday's, and Pete does Saturday's! Then for Zetta, my good friend Erin watches her Monday's, Pete is a champ and takes her to work with him on Tuesday's, then she is the same as Nora the rest of the week. Whew!!! It get's pretty crazy when someone is out of town, or has other obligations, but we are super thankful and lucky that we have not had to send the girls to childcare yet!! I am working on Nora's birth story so that will be coming soon! Stay tuned, now that I have my act together, I should be posting more often! Hopefully!!

                   

Today's Thoughts(aka rambling)

**Waring, this post is a lot of rambling, and doesn't really have a point to anyone besides myself. :)

So the past few weeks my mind has been consumed with questions of what I am going to do with my life. I feel like most people that are 6 months pregnant are looking for ways to quit their jobs and be able to raise their kids. For me, it is the opposite (and please hear me out before you judge. Or judge, it doesn't matter because it won't change my feelings). I am young. My husband in turning 29 in a week and a half and I just turned 23. I flew through college (3 1/2 years) and was in my last semester when we got married. He had a terrific job which allowed me to stay part-time at Healthpoint and then I quit there about 6 months ago to work with my mom at Cape Starter (our family business). Recently, which most of you know if you have read my blog at all, that Pete quit his job at AT&T and is doing his dream job of full-time house flipping and running our rental property. I love that we are in a place in our lives that he can do that. I probably say at least 3 times a week how grateful I am that he doesn't work at AT&T anymore. It was fine for a few years, but our life is so much easier and enjoyable without that job (new budget or not, ha!). But because he quit, I am looking for some type of work with benefits. At first I thought it would be no big deal, I would find something part-time where I can still work with my mom and pick up a few weddings each year. That would be the perfect dream for me-I still get to work with family and pursue my passion of wedding coordinating. But, the more and more that I have looked for part-time jobs around this area it just stresses me out. I want to like what I do and like the people I work with. I want it to be a positive environment that I look forward to going to everyday( or every other). Let me tell you, there just isn't much out there. Which has made me think a lot if I want to go find a full time job in event planning or something along those lines, that way I know that I will enjoy what I do. I am not saying it will not be stressful at times, and hard to leave my baby girl, the flexibility and personal enjoyment of working with my mom everyday, but I would like what I do. I have said since the beginning that I do not want to be a full-time SAHM, but I never thought I would work full-time either. I guess all that to say that parts of me wish I had a little more time to work in a busy, full-time environment before we had kids. Or, that I would have done it while Pete was working at AT&T and I was fresh out of college. But as I type it I know parts of me don't mean it. Kids are my passion, and I have longed for a child and a large family for as long as I can remember. I just want to raise and love on as many kids as I possibly can. I want that. Pete wants that. So, I know I would be discouraged working full-time.
Do you think I am crazy yet?!
I am sure some of this rambling is my prego brain, but most of it is real, but tomorrow I could read this and think that I am a moron for ever thinking about giving up the opportunities I have now. I just want to do something I enjoy and love, and I am nervous that I am going to let myself just take whatever job I get offered first because it has benefits. Is it bad to say one of my part-time "dream jobs" is a barista at Starbucks? I just hate how people judge your lifestyle by where you work. I am not usually one to care about what others think of me as long as I am happy. I don't know why I let this one affect me so much? I need to let it go because, if I could work part-time at Starbucks, work with my mom, and pick up a few weddings a year, I would seriously be over the moon happy. I guess I just rambled my way into making a decision. I knew I just needed to write it out, and know that this is what makes me happy and is what is best for my family, so other peoples opinions do not matter. Whew.

If you made it to the end of this, congrats! I promise I will get around to posting about NYC and the wedding I was in this past weekend. I just haven't had the energy.

xoxo,
Erin

What's been going on!

Well, a lot has happened in the past month of our lives!

• Both of Pete's sisters were here most of the month of June. It was a blast having them around all the time and it was sad to see them go! His sister Ashley, moved to Australia(!) and his other sister went to Wyoming to write another book of hikes with her husband before she heads back to New Mexico.(Such a fun life!!) 
• The boys that lived in our rental house have moved out, so Pete is trying to get that house cleaned up and move in ready so we can get another group of renters before the school year starts!
• Speaking of Pete, he quit his job! This was a big decision for us and we discussed it a lot before we decided to make such a life change. We are super thankful that he has such a great job for the past few years financially, but it was just an emotional and mentally draining job with long, hard hours. I did not want us to have schedule we had with that job, when we have the baby. Pete would miss out on so much of our child's life, and neither one of us wanted that. I have said that I will get another job with insurance/benefits in order for our schedule to become more flexible. Plus, when the baby comes I have always wanted to work part-time. I think it is good for a child be to around other kids even when they are small. I also, selfishly, need social interaction and conversation that is not all about kids. I don't want that to sound like I am not going to love my child or raise my child myself, but a few days a week, it is healthy for both of us to be apart. Pete has not worked there for a few weeks now, and our life is already so much more enjoyable. You don't realize how draining a job is, until you aren't there anymore. He can come to all my family functions now, we can go to dinner with friends, etc. Don't get me wrong, financially, this is a HUGE change for us, but totally worth it.
• I booked another wedding! I am so thankful that I have got the opportunity to pursue my passion without having a full-blown business. It is a lot of work, but so fun!
• I suck at taking pictures, that's all there is to it. I feel like I can't and don't blog about what is going on because I don't have any pictures and words are boringggggg. I am going to New York next week and I am determined to be better about this!!
• I do have a few pictures of my belly though! Plus, we found out that we are having a baby girl!! We found out at our ultrasound on a Thursday and then we had the tech write it down in an envelope and I took it to the lady who made a cupcake with the middle filled with the special color and cookies for the party! We did not find out until Saturday, when we had a gender reveal party..with no pictures(gah)

This is 20 weeks..



                                                     
                                             This is 21 weeks! Hard to tell in the black shirt, sorry!










My unfinished kitchen!! AH

                                            These are the only pictures I have of the party, and my sister is who took them! I am determined to be better! Why have a big party if I never even document it?!!

• On the topic of pregnancy, we obviously had our ultrasound and it all went well! Everything is growing right on track. Baby girl is kicking like crazy!! It is strong enough now, that Pete can feel it and if you are patient enough, you can see it on the outside. Quite amazing!!! Something that is not amazing is that I found a stretch mark. GRR, I am so angry! Although it is my fault, because I give swim lessons 2x a week and don't put lotion on after. My skin is visibly dry, so I knew it was bound to happen. I am going to be better about it from here on out!
• Last but not least, we moved into our house!!! We still do not have a kitchen, because we are missing one of the bottom cabinets, but I am being very patient! It has only been 12 weeks, I don't know why I am getting an attitude about it.;) But, my dear husband keeps telling me that having an attitude and letting it effect me isn't going to resolve the problem, so I am staying calm! Thank goodness I have him around, my life is way less stressful..because he treats me like a 5 year old..kidding!

If you made it this long, congrats, I promise to be better!!

xoxo,

Erin

Back into the swing of things!

I feel like I am going to be confused of what day it is for at least a week! Starting Thursday my days became a blur. One of my mom's best friends and her son, daughter, and 3 of the girls best friends are in Florida this week. They live in Columbia, MO so they headed down last Thursday afternoon and got here just in time for dinner. They wanted to go to Tractors, I feel like anyone who use to live in Jackson, when they come back to visit, it is a given that Tractors will be their restaurant of choice! It doesn't bother me one bit! :) After dinner we all just sat around and caught up. Three of their 4 children are in college in other states so it was nice to see their son Taylor, it has been awhile! They all got up and on the road by 5 on Friday morning! Because I am my mom's "assistant", my job gets a lot more important when she is out of town. When I got up I worked for a few hours and then headed to Cape to have coffee with one of my friends who is due 1 day after me :)! Then headed over to my friend Shelby's house, who I use to work with at Healthpoint. She quit a few weeks after me because she had her little cutie, Tristan! He is 3 months now and couldn't be any cuter! By the time I finished all my visits, Pete was off work and working on our house so I headed over there and then we went and met my dad for dinner at bww bc he had a gift card someone had given him for his birthday! I was worn out and headed home and called it a night!

Saturday, I honestly did not do much, at all! Helped my dad in the yard for a few hours and then layed out the rest of the day! One of my best friends Lauren was in town(she lives in NYC!) so she came over and got a few hours of sun with me! It was so nice to catch up in person and not over the phone! That night Pete and I went to dinner with some of our favorites, Eric and Megan-we always have a good time!

Sunday, Pete and I ran around like crazy people getting all our supplies for workday Monday then headed over to our friends Brad and Kristi's for a bbq. I feel like we all haven't hung out since our trip to Texas in March. It was good to catch up!! Monday we had a crew come over and work on the house and we got soo much accomplished! Thank you soo much to my Uncle Lee, Aunt Terri, my dad, Pete's parents and his friend Caleb for spending their day off helping us! We appreciate it SO much! Just a few more finishing touches and hopefully it will be ready for us to move in!!!
That wraps up my super long, busy weekend. You could see now why I lost track off all my days, ha ha. I knew that I was horrible at taking pictures, but this post proves that even more! Ugh, maybe one day! I am working on it! I need to get back to work-the boss is out all week, which means less play time for me! ;)
xoxo,
Erin