Thursday, August 28, 2014

The internal roller coaster of a working mama

Pete and I probably have the same conversation once a month. Any other working mama of small kids knows how it goes.. "I hate work, I wish I could just stay home with the kids all day"! Then the next sentence is how much I love my job and I need the adult interaction and staying home is not for me.
So, yesterday was my day off since I work Saturday's, and I really just thought all day about how grateful I am for my job and what it is teaching me, but also, more importantly what it is teaching my children. Zetta is at an age where she understand where I am going and such. She knows my work shirt, and when she has to go to work with me she throws her arms in the air and lets out a big "yahoo" before we even make the turn into the mall parking lot. I had to run into work yesterday morning before we opened because I needed to exchange money to get them smaller change before the day started. Which means we all have to load up, go to the bank(where she also knows that they have suckers), and unload at my work so I could take the money inside. I know I work at a kids entertainment center, so it is obviously a fun place for her to go, but she just kept saying, "mommy's work, yahoo" all morning. It just changed my whole attitude. I need to be grateful that we got to choose when she started any type of outside preschool or daycare. We have family around that takes time out of their lives to come watch my girls and wants to be an influence in their life. I need to be grateful that I am teaching my children that Pete and I go to work so that we can provide for our family. I feel like working moms get a bad wrap sometimes because "someone else is raising our children". I am extremely thankful for the job that I have and the flexibility that I have when we are in a bind, or the fact that I can bring Nora to work and wear her around while I do my job. Not many places allow things like that and it really is a perfect fit for our family. Yes, the job has a few negatives, but what job doesn't? After yesterday, and having to run in on my day off, usually that changes my attitude for the whole day. I get aggravated and let it affect the whole day. But yesterday, I didn't. I usually get stressed out on my day off and run around like a crazy person trying to clean my house, go to the grocery, cook a few meals for the week, laundry, etc. But yesterday, I just set all of those jobs aside and spent the whole day focusing on my girls. We went to the library, lunch, they both took amazing naps and I sat on the couch and watch stupid reality TV the whole time, then we drove down to Sikeston and visited with a few friends. I had the best day. It was like I hit the reset button. I am okay that I have to go to work today, because I know I am doing what is best for ME and MY FAMILY and that is what matters most. I just want to encourage all those working mama's out there that struggle with the same internal battle of guilt. It is okay that you are working. It is okay that your kids are going to a childcare facility. They are learning and playing with other kids and that is just helping them learn to share and be independent people. It is okay that sometimes you eat pizza for dinner and have dirt on the floor. Because you are teaching your children that working is a good thing, and you are doing your best to provide the best life for your family. Don't ever let someone tell you different. Mom wars can get pretty ugly these days but if you focus on your family and whats best for you, that is all that matters.

I know that got a little deep at points but I needed to let it out. For myself, and any other mom that struggles with going to work. I feel like I am finally at a place emotionally that I am okay. I know I am doing whats right, and I need to cling to that when others try to put me down. 
Have an awesome day! We are going to cheer on the Redhawks tonight and kick off the start of college football! WoooHoo! The best time of the year!

1 comment:

  1. Great advice Erin. You are doing a beautiful job as a mother.